COMMON UPSETTING BELIEFS
These beliefs
often lead to anxiety and depression:
Demand for Approval - I must be loved, approved of
and respected by the significant people in my life, and if
not, it's awful.
High Self-Expectations - I must succeed, achieve
and be competent because I am a failure as a person when I
fail or do poorly.
These beliefs are associated with a passive-dependent,
victim outlook:
Dependency - I need someone or something stronger
than myself on whom to depend because I can't cope with life
by myself.
Helplessness for Change - My past is the cause of
my present problems, so I can't change. This is how I am and
I am helpless to do anything about it.
Emotional Control - My feelings are caused by
events or other people, so to be happy, I must control or
change them and eliminate my problems.
These ideas cause anger, righteous indignation and guilt.
Blame Proneness - People, including me, must not do
wrong. When they do, they are bad, rotten people who deserve
to be blamed and condemned.
Personal Idealism - The world and other people must
be fair and just, that is, the way I want them to be.
These are common beliefs in frustration, impatience,
procrastination and impulsiveness:
Frustration Reactivity - I can't stand it when
things or people aren't the way I want because I must get
what I want quickly and easily.
Problem Avoidance - It is easier to avoid rather
than face life's difficulties because I can't stand such
hassles and shouldn't have them.
Discomfort Anxiety - I must be comfortable and
without pain at all times or I can't stand it.
These beliefs lead to perfectionism, obsessive/compulsive
traits and martyrdom:
Perfectionism - There is a right, perfect solution
to every problem and I must find it, so I have to be certain
and be in control.
Anxious Overconcern - I have to be anxious when
faced with uncertainty or potential danger and must think
constantly about such possibilities.
Overcaring - I must become upset over my and other
people's problems or else I am an uncaring, cold, bad person.
Psychological Hypochondria
- When I am upset, I'm afraid I may be going crazy and won't
be in control of myself, which would be unbearable.
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